Peanut Butter and Jealousy

Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited...It is never rude or selfish It does not take offense, and it is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.

In case you’ve been living in a cave for the past few weeks, on April 16th the worst school shooting in U.S. history was perpetrated at Virginia Tech University by a psychopathic, self righteous little douche bag who will undoubtedly go down in history as the nation’s all time biggest loser. At the center of Seung Hui Cho’s murderous rampage was a jealousy spawned from (among other things) his pathetic inability to get laid. Gee, with charm like that it’s hard to imagine why.

As I have listened to moronic news reports searching for reasons, and looking for hidden meaning inside his incoherent ramblings, what they fail to recognize is this: Like all pathetic, jealous losers, there was no real reason, and there is no hidden meaning…he was simply just a pathetic, jealous loser, who couldn’t get laid. Idiot’s who run news organizations should stop searching for something that isn’t there; like all stories that revolve around feeble begrudging washouts, it doesn’t get any deeper than what is on the surface. Personally I think he, and all of these murderous, envious, assholes who take lives because they can’t handle rejection need to be portrayed as such, rather than glamorize them with any macho slant. The fact of the matter is that Cho, as well as any other abomination of humanity who act out violently because of covetousness embody a total LACK of manhood. Rather than giving any future resentful sociopath a model in which they can garner attention, or even in their delusion believe that they will be portrays at all heroically, they need to be exposed for what they are…weak, inadequate losers, who weren’t strong enough to deal with basic life issues. Assholes. Jerk-offs.

You can always tell when it’s a slow news week because that’s when you see headlines like “Jealous Husband Kills Wife, Then Shoots Self”. Almost like clockwork you can read a story of how some possessive moron couldn’t handle being dumped, and was under the mistaken impression that this is the way a real man handles this type of situation. I guess moving on is simply out of the question. Strip club? Ballgame? Weekend fishing? Non-English speaking hooker? Nah…they gotta get revenge…

. "Jealousy, that dragon which slays love
under the pretence of keeping it alive."

Havelock Ellis

This all stems from an antiquated view of how the sexes should interact carried over from various Asian, African, and European Cultures that treat women like shit. All over the world different cultures use ridiculous, sexist standards, and in one form or another they are carried over to the United States…and as fucked-up as it is elsewhere, here in the evolved west we manage to put our own twisted spin on a woman’s place in society. NOTE: sorry, I am not going to go into a diatribe about the socio-economics of female empowerment.

I am often asked about how people who are in non-monogamous lifestyles handle the issue of jealousy. Even though most normal, rational people don’t fly into a violent rage when those feelings and emotions begin to stir, still it manifests itself in different ways. Having laid the foundation, I’ll sum it up like this: Any person with any sense of rationale can see where jealousy can lead. I find the way other cultures treat women barbaric. I see the sexual double standard we apply in this country and view it as bullshit. People who engage in successful non-monogamous relationships recognize that the best way to have a great marriage is an equal partnership, and there is no way that can exist when there is a moral double standard applied to half of the team. Simply put, re-read the quote from Corinthians at the top of the page…then understand that true love is putting your partner’s happiness first. Their happiness cannot be predicated on your perceptions and insecurities. The moment a person puts restrictions on someone they allegedly love, they are acting out of selfishness. Jealousy is mean spirited, selfish, angry, paranoid, ugly and stupid… it’s the Rosie O’Donnell of emotions.

What it all boils down to is this: Look at the world around you. Look at people who allow jealousy and possessiveness in their relationships, and then look at people who don’t. See for yourself who is angrier, and who is happier… who is arguing, and who is getting laid.

People ask, “How do we manage to let go of jealousy?” But the more prudent question should be “How can we allow jealousy to dictate our actions when we know that no good can come from it?” …which begs the question, “How can we NOT let go of it?”